Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved
by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more
reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind;
you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they
have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos
of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility
lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re
not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that
worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be
things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside
you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,
don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re
ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end,
it’s only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you
want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t
know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting
40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re
gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll
have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll
dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever
you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
– your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy
your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it,
or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll
ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your
own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel
ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll
be gone for
good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your
past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious
few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the
people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you
hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians
will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll
fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians
were
noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you
have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when
either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time
you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those
who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it
is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting
over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
